Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
