Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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