these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
