thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
