Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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