If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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