HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I am puke
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it