If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
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Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
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I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone