There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.