just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole