and you said cock pushups were impossible
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
