Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
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