So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
