I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
