weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
are you so shy because you have an std?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Come share oat with me in your robe
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
