I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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