I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
it was like eating out sand paper
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
