I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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