sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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