Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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