And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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