just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
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My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
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He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..