Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.

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(416): View more from Ontario

we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.

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(970): View more from Colorado

We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(540): View more from Virginia

My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?

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(206): View more from Washington

And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.

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(618): View more from Illinois

She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed

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(313): View more from Michigan

I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.

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(989): View more from Michigan

After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..

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