I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.