I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Randomize
