Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.