Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.