Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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