Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
