Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
