I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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