theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
