I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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