Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize