____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
