In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
