I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
