At least make sure they are 18
Why
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
