So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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