Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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