booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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