The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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