very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
