I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
