I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
