Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
