she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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