Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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