He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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