i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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