it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
