Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Also, beer. Big fan.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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