my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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