Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
