when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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