That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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