I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
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Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
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Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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