I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
