just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
