Having a random hookup so left but love u
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
