sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
