It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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