yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
