He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
how drunk are you?
Several
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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