Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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