I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
